You know what witches hate? Being told what to do. So why the hell do we tell each other what to do?
That's the first point I'd like to make about handing out spells to people who ask for them. So if you ask me how to cast love spells or curses or how to control your horrible boss, I will give you what you want. I know you don't need another lecture on why you shouldn't
feel the way you do and why it's not the other person's fault that you're feeling mad, and blah, blah, blah. Maybe that's true and maybe it isn't. I don't know because I'm not you. It's your life and you're going to be the one learning all the lessons. So, if you choose to ask me for magic--whether it be good for you or bad--I'll give you just what you need (so long as you're polite, of course) and then you'll be the one who gets to see where it leads. That's part of being self-responsible, as spellcasters should be. If you'd like to know more about what this (if I may say so) generous attitude can do for you and why I won't deny you of it, read on.
So we began with the first important point:
1. It's None of My Goddamn Business
As you can see, I don't subscribe to the notion that every last person you talk to about magic takes some of the blame if you screw up. That's mostly what I hear online from folks who either just don't want to give away their best tricks or don't have any to give.
I would like to make it perfectly clear that I have never experienced any kind of backlash from helping someone else cast a spell. I've given spells away, walked people through an entire working, written spells just for their particular problem, sold countless spell kits, and still it has not shown one piece of evidence to make me believe that I reap either benefit or punishment for what others do with that information.
Because of that--as well as my general disinterest in running other people's lives--I am okay with you coming to a conclusion about what your life needs and then taking steps to get it by whatever means are available to you. That makes sense to me. I'm okay going on your assessment of your own problem because (barring lengthy digging into your private business) I have no reason to suspect that there's some better alternative that you missed.
2. Experience is the Greatest Teacher
Now this may be just a bit of bravado, but I think I understand a thing or two about teaching. I've been teaching and reading tarot professionally for many years, as well as generally handing out magical advice to whoever seeks it. What works the best with students (and all seekers) is simple: don't carry them through. The best teachers are ones that let you make a few mistakes. Trial and error is what it's all about and that applies even if there's someone right there to guide you. It's also just as true if that guidance is only a brief exchange.
I can't give you half the clarity that you'll gain from making your own choice, whether it's right or wrong. Just me saying "You shouldn't want that" won't make you stop wanting it. Me saying "Try this mundane thing instead" won't make you abandon the notion that only magic can help you. Only your experience will convince you of what is best.
The second part of this thought is that the asker must actually do something. Even if I write down the most powerful spell I know, it means nothing until it's actually cast. This is the difference between being shown a door and walking through it. When you give someone a spell, you offer them the experience of doing for themselves, of fixing their own problems. Once they have cast it, they will know a new world of informtion: what they really want, what it means to get it, who they are based on their desires, as well as what magic feels like, how it works, and if they're any good at it. Once its effects take hold, they'll know the deeper reality of causing change and how big (or small) an impact they can have. A caster is at once a giant among men and a mere mite before the universe. That's a pretty powerful lesson and it goes way beyond what I can simply tell a person. I'd rather let it be shown to them.
3. It's the Most Straightforward Way to Help a New Witch
Giving a spell is easier than planning and casting a spell. Being a very busy person as it is, I will generally opt for what will be the simplest choice when it comes to the outer edges of my magical community experiences. Being asked questions out of curiosity, pulled aside on the street, or pleaded with in an online forum all count as casual contributions for me. It's not that I care less, just that I have less time to offer in these situations. I give my all in answering the questions, but I can't afford to also give hours and components.
Also note that if you consider that I get paid for my spellwork, this is a good bargain for you.
By giving out a spell for the asker to try for themselves instead of talking prices for spellcasting services, I'm making it much more likely that magic will spread to that person. I've seen too many newcomers give up completely for lack of help and inspiration from the more learned pracitioners they encounter. If we want the next generation to be strong, devoted, and enlivened, we need to feed them with magic.
As we see from the Internet, free magic is exceptionally popular. While I think it's folly to cast spells for free (and I learned this through the same trial and error that I'm postulating that others undertake), this is a way for young people to gain magic in their lives without spending money they may not have to spare.
4. They'll Just Keep Asking Until Someone Says Yes
Especially in the online world, it's easy to say "Oh yes, I understand why you turned down my request for a love spell and I agree completely. You've showed me the error of my ways....Hey you over there! Can you give me a love spell?"
Think about it. Just like having "the talk" with your kids, if you don't do it, someone else will. Wouldn't you prefer we had a few more well-educated practitioners around? Then it should start today, with us. The more questions we answer honestly and completely, the more knowledge we spread, the better the next generation of casters will be. To give spells, to teach in whatever way you are able, is to give a gift to the whole of our magical people.
It is because of this that I tell the truth to those who ask, no matter what they ask. If I don't, they'll assume that I know nothing and move on to the next person, possibly one who is manipulative and self-serving. I don't want to let that kind of "learning" happen in our community.
As a final note, I'd like to add that I don't always give spells just because someone approached me for one. I don't much care for the attitude that anyone must be a vending machine that stands idle until someone approaches to push some buttons and get what they want. Instead, I expect a few small things before I will even acknowledge your question. These requirements are simple: be polite, be honest, be ready to listen. That is all anyone really needs in order to receive wisdom. Remember this any time you meet someone who has knowledge you don't; a brave spirit and a simple request will lead you to the world's deepest secrets.
Images from:
multiplemayhemmamma.com/2014/01/successful-parenting-secrets.
luckymojo.com/reconciliation.html
prick-tees.com/shirt_witch.shtml
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