Ex Penna

Flakiness exists in every subculture. There's always going to be that set of people who just seem to float from place to place, ideology to aesthetic, without any real ties to any of it. Such is the way for the ones who inhabit the magical community.

Just what are we talking about when we say "flakes" or "phonies" or "fake witches"? Usually, when that kind of language is thrown around--and generally, with as much venom as possible-- the individual in question displays one or more of the following qualities:

• False knowledge or no knowledge
• Pretentious behavior
• Unwillingness to commit to a coven's expectations
• Free-will taken to a selfish degree
• Carefree turning to carelessness

I realize that this is a difficult topic to breach for anyone, let alone the magical community where so many of us found acceptance after being shunned by the world outside.  To many, many practitioners, this is a safe and comforting place where we can be ourselves without judgment.

This is something that I simply cannot say enough about: the magical disclaimer.

Now, I understand the thought process behind the standards in this category, such as the psychic hotline's "For entertainment purposes only" and the herbalist's "This information is not meant as a substitute for professional medical treatment."  The law is not written for casters but for the public safety from injury and scams.  So, I got that.  No contest, that kind of thing should be part of our common compliance.

One's taste in books is purely subjective.  This may seem obvious to the novel-readers out there, but if you listen to folks in the magical community, they expect everyone to want and need the same things from a book as they do.  Then the only task left is to read accordingly.

The books I cut my teeth on you might say were too advanced, outmoded, or not guarded enough for a newbie.  That may be true for you, but for me it's not.  On the other hand, lots of titles on the "best book ever" and "must have" lists I absolutely hate.  It's a waste of time trying to convert me to love them.

In short, there really is no definitive witchcraft book out there.  Instead, what we have is a huge variety of books with an independent tone and focus that is sure to speak to somebody.  Don't bother getting angry if not everyone else agrees with what you insist is the best.  Maybe next time you can do something really unique and share your opinion only when it does something worthwhile.

This is something that you've undoubtedly heard me discuss before, but it continues to be an issue so I must continue to talk about it.

Here's the facts:  People will pay for others to cast spells for them.  They will pay for pre-made spell kits.  They will pay for magical objects, talismans, and other charged items.  They will pay for a teacher to give them instruction on how to do all this for themselves.  They do this as willingly as they pay for books, art, poetry, and music about magic.

As well they should.  A practitioner invests money and time in being ready for client requests.  It's not an easy job and it takes a lot of skill and confidence to do it well.  It's got value that can be measured in several ways.  One of those ways is monetary.

If you don't believe that it's okay to ask for money for your magic, then don't do it.  There is no stipulation that you must accept payment and no one is trying to convince you that you should.  If you can see that as being a fair position, then you can also see that no professional magic worker needs, deserves, or requires the opinion that their magic must be for free.

The short answer to this one is simple: you call yourself one, so you are one.

You are a witch, a magician, a sorcerer or sorceress, an occultist, a mage, a wizard, a warlock, a magical practitioner.  Your authenticity comes from doing something worthwhile with that title, not that you have gained some arbitrary right to hold it.

So don't you dare tell me that a "real witch" would never curse or manipulate others.  I have done so plenty of times in the past and I will again when the occasion calls for it.  Don't tell me that you have to worship Pagan Gods.  Though I do, I have met plenty of folks who don't, or only do so in a vague and barely-religious way.  There's atheists, Satanists, and Christians who practice magic.  Some folks even call themselves without ever having cast a single spell.  Witches can be monotheists, duotheists, polytheits, or no -theist at all.  They can cast elaborate magic from the Middle Ages or simplistic charms written last Tuesday.  They can be one with nature, meditating on a mountaintop or they can be ruling the streets of Manhattan, their ritual gear a cigarette, cell phone, and stiletto heels.

You don't have to dress differently and you don't have to blend in with any soccer mom on the block.  You don't have to practice for a certain length of time or have learned from a famous teacher.  You don't have to write your own spells or make your own wand.

You only have to want it bad enough to live it.  Every day is your chance to learn more and put it to work.  Whatever your methods, use them.  Whatever your morals, live them.  Whatever your spells, cast them.  Make magic and let it shape you.

You are real.

I have been in groups, attended meetings, sat in ritual with other covens, and joined the conversation online and off and you know what I've discovered?  Most of the chatter is useless.  The biggest culprits--being offended and talking about what we're not.

It's good fun to discuss the many ways that we buck trends and follow our own directives (and I do it occasionally myself) but to make this the mainstay of what you talk about when you're with other practitioners is a complete waste of time.  You have, in theory, an interesting, intense, deep, and meaningful conversation just waiting to be opened and explored with a person right in front of you who will understand what you mean.  And that person has the potential to share knowledge with you that will be an incredible revelation to you, something you will ponder for years to come or immediately work into your practice.  They might become a teacher or a student. The topics you discuss could lead to a new venture, a new group, a fresh way of thinking.

So don't you dare start talking about how the Christians stole our holidays.

Or how you yelled at a bunch of pacifist Jehovah's Witnesses last weekend.

Or contradictions in the Bible that could possibly refute the whole system.

That's not important, it's not interesting, and the whole concept of it has been played to death in nearly every corner of the magical community.  You're not defined by the list of things you're offended by.  Your practice is about what you do, not what you avoid.

If you're at a party, meeting, or event centered around magic, talk magic.  Talk about books you're reading, your field(s) of expertise, stories of magical successes and failures, trials you faced in finding your place in the community, important people you've met, places you've visited, your favorite events, plans for the future...the list is of topics that can lead to real insight is nearly endless.  Ask tons of questions, get opinions, get references, get email addresses and phone numbers for more discussion later.

You're a skilled and driven practitioner of occult arts--don't limit yourself to idle chatter.

If you think that you have come to the magical community to be rescued from the harshness of the outside world, I have some bad news for you.  Magical folk are just as judgemental as the rest, possibly more so.

It is based on sound logic, however.  Being accepted as knowledgeable and experienced in this community is shockingly easy to do.  All one needs is the right lingo and you're in.  You don't need fine clothes or expensive wares or even many books; many practitioners eschew such things and you can be one of them.  Just say that you received your knowledge on the astral plane or from guiding spirits or your intuition ("which is much better than anything you could learn from others, you know!") and you'll be welcomed eagerly.  I've read the interview of a well-known witchcraft author who admitted to not knowing anything about casting spells, only finding them interesting, even after having written a spellbook.

We've all met phonies in this world and phonies that damage you with bad advice and selfish interests should be rooted out wherever they lie, even amongst "kindred spirits."  Because of this, when you enter into this community, you will be scrutinized.  Even if someone says they don't judge, they do.  They must.

So, if you're new to magic or just new to a group, prepare yourself to be repeatedly analyzed and placed in rank according to your status.   How much you know, where you've been, what you've read, who you know, what you look like, your background, even the way you talk will be used to determine where you belong.  I have personally seen people prompted to use words like "boline" and "athame" in conversation, just so the others can judge if they know enough to pronounce them correctly.

If you are who you say you are--at any level--you have nothing to worry about.  If you are not, I suggest quitting the game and hitting the books instead.

I'd like to present a new feature to go along with the herbs, charms, formulas, and spellcasting shortcuts of Witch Tips Wednesday--Unpleasant Truths.

In a practice that so often tries to be above the muddle of ordinary life to the point where we should all be levitating under the power of our own enlightenment, it can surprise folks to hear about the very real, gritty, unadorned, un-charming parts of magical living.  But I'm here to drag them all out into the light and show them off!  It's okay, though, we'll all be better for it.

So this week's unpleasantness is about the magical community at large--it can be a very rough place.  It's not, as is sometimes claimed, "safe space" away from society; it is a society.  You're just going to have to accept that there will be a notable presence of cliques, prejudice, and criticism.  Even here, no one is obligated to like you.

Think on that one for a moment, if you would.  If joining the magical community is like joining any other, then that means that the rest of the world isn't as horrible and soul-shattering as you may have thought.  You are just as likely to find good people living on your block as you are to find them in your new coven.  And, likewise, rotten people can be in both as well.  Despite having every reason to play nice, there will always be those folks who see themselves as separate and above.  They won't join the club, they'll hide behind it.  It's best you know this now.