The controversy over love magic is not as fierce as it once was, but it still remains a topic of debate any time witches gather. For me, love spells are the same as any other kind of magic. The concepts by which they are governed are no different than what you use to protect, to make prosperous, to
make well. There is the same potential to make your target happy or miserable, to bring pain or to soothe the pain. Coercing a relationship can go wonderfully right or horribly wrong, just like coercing a job or a new house.
Know What You Want and What You Will Give
It's been my experience that love spells rarely end in "happily ever after." This isn't because of some failing on your part or the part of the spell itself, it is only the limitations of our human interactions. If your grand gesture of love is only the act that initiates that second glance, you will never keep the heart of the one you love. Lasting relationships require your presence and your effort. You will need to say and show the other person--in whatever way is both comfortable and comforting for them and yourself--on a daily basis that you love them and want them with you. Some folks need long evenings spent by the fire, gazing into one another's eyes while reciting poetry. Others could never abide such things; they want the occasional afternoon coffee or weekend away, texting during a work break, or going for drinks with friends. You will have to find someone who provides the level you need and whose level you're prepared to fulfill.
Know What You Can Expect
So love spells alone won't sustain a relationship for you. So what are they good for then? Love magic is handy for giving you a second chance with someone you already know but upon whom you know you haven't made the right impression, a romantic impression. It's also useful for quick liaisons, infatuation, and lust. That's usually what we're talking about with such "love." It's not normally about the deep connection that keeps two people inexplicably returning to one another in quiet moments for that other half of their soul. Instead it's a compulsion of the body, a physical desire to be close, to taste, to feel. That's still love, don't be mistaken, but of a different sort than you may be thinking.
Even if it's not common, just the act of connecting to another person in an intimate way does create potential for affection that can last for years, if not a lifetime. Think about Sally Owens in "Practical Magic." It was only a spell that brought her and her husband together but it was something deeper, their mated personalities, a true connection that made it last. It began with a trick, so to speak, and then became real. That's the essence of a great deal of magic. You can bewitched your boss into giving you a promotion, but then you must put in effort to keep the high-powered job.
As you see, I'm not of the mindset that says magic is just a tiny part of your physical efforts to gain your desires. Instead it is the initiator, the creator of opportunity, and you need only flow along with what it begins.
The Perfect Love Spell
Instead of giving you one all-purpose, all-powerful spell (one that, surely, thousands of readers will take objection to) I offer the necessary aspects of any perfect love spell. With this as a guideline you will be able to judge spells you discover to be certain they have the approach needed for truly potent love magic. A perfect spell:
- Offers the kind of attention you need. Do you have time and energy for a high-maintenance relationship? If not, make sure your spell allows for more breezy affairs. Be specific and picture the physical reality of your time together.
- Leaves out the flowery language. It's decorative but unnecessary, and if you're not that type of person it's a distraction. Not every romance is romantic. Not every love feels like "divine blessing." Pick wording that feels like actual relationships, not fantasy. Love spells are best when they express how you really feel.
- Is quite specific. Though there is no shortage of authors saying it is morally wrong to cast a love spell upon a named individual (meaning don't bewitch Joe from the corner store, unless you do it with your eyelashes), you really will need to get it squared away what type of person you're seeking. I personally have no problem casting upon anyone, but that's just me. Make sure you're doing things your way and that the person you're asking for is able to keep you happy.
- Is inspiring! This one really falls under the directive I give to all good spells: it must beg to be cast. Flip through a spellbook with your goal in mind and you'll see what I mean. Even if there are many which could fit, only one will seem to leap from the page and give you chills. Cast that one! Ideally, a great spellbook will have lots of such spells, even to the point of inspiring you to get to work even when you don't need anything.
- Doesn't use negatives. Okay, that title was a bit of a gag, but the message remains relevant. Proper spells ignore what you don't want (or, at the very least, mention it once and cover it with positive language many times over). Fill your space with everything you do want: how you want to feel, how to want to spend your time, who you want in your life. Fill it up so tight with all these terrific words and thoughts and emotions that there's no room for anything else. Then let it explode out into the world, rushing in all directions to work your will.
- Duration. Though it's somewhat out of fashion these days (yeah, I just said that. I'm officially old.), putting a time cap on spells is very helpful. Make sure you know what the spell is supposed to do exactly. Did you choose one that makes you more open to love? Okay, what does that look like? How will you know if you've achieved it? Try for something more finite like creating opportunities to meet a special someone. If you suddenly get invited to lots of parties, you know it's working. And contrariwise, if no new social events present themselves it might behoove you to recast your spell.
Love spells are as valuable in your kit as any other. The main consideration is just in how we see things. If you believe it to be more manipulative than, say, changing a traffic cop's mind about writing that ticket, then feel free to completely forget everything you've just read. But if you're like
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me you'll want to know a little (or a lot) of every form of magic there is, just in case you someday are called upon to use it. And if that day comes, you'll be happy you can reach into your little bag and pull out a wonder.
In all seriousness, giving and receiving love is actually one of the finest things we can do as human beings. We're each here for a nearly insignificant span of time; let's not waste it arguing over whether or not it's selfish to ask for love. Just get out there and connect with somebody, a whole lot of somebodies if you have to, but do it today. Give your kindness like you're on a parade float--by the handful to anyone, to everyone. And take the love that you're offered, relish it, savor it. Even if it isn't perfect, it totally and completely is.
Images from:
appszoom.com
lovespells.me
imgfave.com
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