It’s a
quiet night at home. I pass by the
window on my way to sit with another cup of tea and catch a brief glimpse of
the world outside. Dark streets are
painted a glossy ebony black with the rain that has been falling in silent
sheets all day. Jewel-like studs of
color pop from shop signs, traffic lights and give a heartbeat to the otherwise
lifeless, motionless scene.
And
then it hits me--like a wave of hot water, like a ping in the back of my mind,
like a sound I can’t place and now must struggle to connect in my memories—I’m
suddenly alive and aware…and I want magic.
I have no urgent needs, no passionate desires to fulfill, not even a
line on my list of spells I’d like to cast, but I want magic. I want to feel it, to turn it and change it
into something new, something I can call my own. I can’t tell why but it’s happened and I can’t
turn away.
Has
this happened to you? If you’ve been
casting long enough that you have successfully managed your needs and wants,
then you probably have faced this many times. To some, it’s just another wonder of the weird
world of witchcraft. To others, though,
it’s a strange and confusing feeling.
Maybe we want it all the time; maybe we just want to be able to call it
at will. Mostly, though, we get neither. In a way, it’s like sex in a comfortable,
long-term relationship; it’s not the top of your obsessions anymore, but every
once in a while, you go wild for it! As
a witch, you’re riding a capricious wave of magical inspiration.
The
flip-side of this analogy, however, is also true. Too much familiarity and you become listless
and disinterested. There’s no spark left
and you aren’t sure how to regain it or even how you got it in the first
place. You’re stuck in the doldrums of
magical inspiration.
As you
can see, things can get a little tricky when you’re talking about what revvs us
up for both a good round of spellcasting and a roll in the hay! How can we possibly maneuver this mercurial
field? Is it even possible to bring to
it any kind of order and regularity?
Perhaps, to make things clearer, I can talk about these two topics at
the same time.
Don’t Expect,
Speculate
Both
with sex and magic, we lose the fuel to get started if we stress about it. If you say “I’ve only cast one spell in two
months. What’s wrong with me?” or “My
work should be more impressive by now!” you’re just squashing every expansive,
positive thought that once fired you up as a caster. Let expectations go.
Instead
of focusing on what isn’t going on, dig deep into what is. What are you feeling
right now? What have you been thinking
about most often lately? Where do your
daydreams lead you? Remember that magic
isn’t just for making sure your bills are paid and you shake the flu in time
for your New Year’s party; it’s about finding fulfillment and happiness. That can be big things and small.
This
works in the bedroom, too. When you set
rules for yourself or your partner on how often, how long, in what position,
etc. can be classified as “real sex” or “good sex,” get ready to be
miserable. If you’re connecting, it’s
real. If you’re enjoying it, it’s good. Forget the rest and go with it.
Start Keeping Track
If
you’re anything like me, “the other day” can refer to any span of time between
yesterday and 6 months ago. So when I
say I cast a spell the other day, you might have to allow some give in the
timeline.
Same
thing goes when you’re thinking about how long it’s been since you had a really
great, deep magical experience. You
might think that you haven’t had anything like that in years, but that might
not be the case. This is where I tell
all my students how important it is to record all your spells—from the fancy
rites to the itty-bitties—it all counts.
When you see it on paper, you’ll probably realize that you use it much
more often than you thought.
For me,
I use several spoken charms every day, test some new ones a few times a week,
regularly use formulas like powders and tinctures, work “pushes” and other
thought spells, light dressed candles on my days off work… So it’s not a cast circle and a blazing
cauldron, but it definitely is magic.
In your
relationship, you can (tactfully) do the same thing. A common complaint in married arguments is
the rarity of sex in the relationship, but it’s not often that anyone remembers
exact dates. Taking the time to really
examine how often you two actually do the deed can not only stop the fight
before it starts (if it’s more than remembered) but also give you a clear
picture of the situation (if it’s significantly less).
Experiment
Now I
don’t mean that you should run to the bookstore and grab the biggest book of
ceremonial magic they have just because it’s an avenue you haven’t yet
explored. That is not actually
experimentation, it’s just recklessness.
Don’t let anyone tell you that’s how to do things because you’ll end up
far more frustrated and disheartened than anything positive you might have
gained from the experience.
Instead,
ruminate on some ideas that have made you prick up your ears in conversation,
books whose titles you’ve heard again and again but have never read,
interesting tools and components you’ve seen in shops. Be curious again, explore with a sense of wonderment,
be new to something. Follow your curiosity and you will never lack
inspiration.
When
we’re talking about sex this could not be more important! Never leap into something because you read in
Cosmo that men love it. Most of the time you can
bet that your guy won’t. Also, just as
likely, you won’t be comfortable with have to repeat it from now on. So stick to the outer edges of what you
already know and go from there.
Keep Showing Up
This is definitely the
toughest advice a person can receive.
Writers hear it all the time: “A writer writes.” If you want to be inspired, to feel that rush
that got you here in the first place, you’re going to need to be where the
action is as often as possible. A lover
loves. A spellcaster casts spells. It’s as simple—and painfully difficult—as
that.
Even
when you don’t feel like it, even when you think you should wait because the
“perfect moment” is going to appear at any moment, get involved. Do what puts you in the center of your witchy
universe and stay there as long as you’re able.
That gray dusty lightbulb above your head will erupt in light when you’re
not expecting it. Only then will you see
that it happened because you had your hand on the switch the whole time.
The
truth is that a witch is a lover. We’re
smitten with our own being, the lightness of being a human animal engaged with
the world, the power we share with everything around us. Our spells
and all their complex intertwining
of forms, words, colors, and thought are an affair we have with some secret
force, and each time we meet this mysterious paramour, we are excited to see
what glorious offspring we might bear.
There is nothing separate from
magic and there’s nothing separate from sex.
Sex is life giving, life affirming.
Magic is life building and life expanding. You are infused with both right now, sitting
in that chair, wearing same shirt. You
had it this morning while brushing your teeth and you’ll have it tonight when
you turn out the lights. Even in the
most mundane moments, without even trying, there’s something powerful stirring
in you and you can use it whenever you wish.
Image from:
creativeboom.com/inspiration/dark-fantasy-photography-draws-inspiration-from-magical-books-and-films/
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