Some try to insult me or my intelligence. Doesn't work. Some try to intimidate me into changing my worldview to something more like their own. Can't be done. Others just want someone--anyone--to play the whipping boy for their fears of the unknown and unknowable. That's not why I'm here and I make sure they know that.
You may have encountered these same types of people. Let it roll off you. They're not the folks were talking about today. They can't be helped from thee outside anyway, so just walk on by.
The ones I want to discuss are the interested but non-commital people, the ones who perhaps know the ordinary you first and only afterward get introduced to the witch in you. They are those not opposed to what you do and who you are, but have no frame of reference. They have no proper method for interacting with such foreign concepts, and so can ask or assume some laughable, painful, or otherwise clueless things. It's alright; they can be enlightened.
I've been asked all sorts of crazy shit over the years. I don't mind; it's interesting to me to see where their heads are at. They speak to their own imagination, their own experiences, and what comes out is pure, even when it's offensive. Keep that in mind as you go.
I'm going to assume that the outsider in question has next to no knowledge about the magical community, is open-minded enough to let others have beliefs without needing them to validate their own, and are just confused enough to be curious but will probably never turn this into action. That, you will find, covers most of the people who approach you in a casual way about what it means when you say you practice witchcraft.
Do:
1. Answer only the question being asked.
It gets confusing fast (for both parties) when you try to dive into the underlying reasons behind a question or explore a topic's various theories and historical relevance all at once. Just answer what they asked without creating further questions. You'll know you're doing well if the next thing they ask is in line with their original question and not a bunch of new stuff you brought up by answering it.
Also note that your answers should be phrased in such a way that it shows that this is how the topic relates to you and your experience. We don't have a master rulebook to override personal accounts, so be clear when talking about things that you do/believe or things that historians have recorded about ancient or foreign practices. All other opinions should be left to those who hold them.
2. Make Connections
A quick way to help an outsider grasp the idea of witchcraft as a rational person's worldview is to show a correlation between what we do and what other spiritual or cultural practices do. This will require that you have a bit of savvy when it comes to world religions and culture, but the ties between us are many. Magic use didn't arise out of nothing; speak to the stuff that your conversant can understand as established thought and they will see the web for themselves.
Remember, however, never to make the leap that all religions are the same. This is highly insulting to pretty much everyone. The only folks I've ever met who don't feel like such a statement devalues the beautiful and meaningful faith they hold for deities, their stories and histories are those who have a non-commital and distant relationship with any spiritual practice. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's a vastly different take on religion than those who actively practice. Be conscious of this.
3. "You Learn By Trying"
If your conversant starts delving into topics like how to know if a spell worked or what casting feels like, let them know that you didn't know these things either until you gave it a shot for yourself.
There are things that can be taught in their entirety, and then there are those that must be experienced. Magic is the latter.
4. One Piece of the Picture
Magic is an important part of who you are, but it's only a part. It dictates how you see yourself, those around you and how you relate. It informs your opinion of the natural and the supernatural. But it's not all that you are.This may sound like an obvious statement (especially if this is a neighbor, coworker, etc. who already knows you in other ways), but it's a point that must be made to fend off the stereotype of the modern person who gets caught up in a fantasy world, losing all touch with reality. Remember the panic about Dungeons and Dragons in the 70's and 80's. The claim is that something that a susceptable person is passionate about can so overrun their life that they are nothing without it. That is not the case here (or, indeed, there--the furor was found to be just as stupid, false, and yet horribly damaging as the Satanic Panic).
5. Magic Improves What It Touches
This is probably the most important, and most exciting and welcome, information you can share. Talk about the good that magic has brought to your life. Maybe a spell you cast opened up a much sought after opportunity; maybe you have a store or a thriving coven; maybe the study led you to explore anthropology, now your college major. There are so many ways that magic changes us and each of those changes has the potential to bring us closer to the person we're meant to be, a person perhaps not accessable otherwise. This is a valuable lesson.Of course, there's the other side of this, where stories about magic spells that had a wonderful or surprising outcome are just plain fun for curious people. This sort of discussion gets their minds working. What thrilling adventures would they go on if they could make things happen the way they wanted them? What kinds of good fortune would they bring to themselves and others if they could? These questions won't be asked aloud, but they'll almost certainly be present.
Don't:
1. Say Derogatory Things About Other Occultists
This is not the time to try to distance yourself from Satanism or the Left Hand Path. I know, it's so commonplace as to be cliche to offer insights like "We don't have orgies or eat babies!" to express the thought that you see yourself as a "regular" person. I'm here to say right now that that's not helping.
Not only does that kind of chatter disparage an already denigrated section of the occult community, but it also brings such thoughts into the mind of your conversant for no reason. By saying that you don't do that, it makes them assume that others do. And, of course, talking smack qualifies as defining other occultists' practice, which we discussed as an outright no-no.
And lastly, you are not fooling anyone into thinking that working with the occult classifies as an everyday, hum-drum activity. "Yes, I have many interests: I knit, I'm crazy for scrapbooking, and I occasionally manipulate reality with ancient folk practices and ceremonial conjuration! See? Totally normal!"
Stop acting like being "average" is some kind of goal. It's much better to be exceptional.
2. Don't Try to Explain It All
It's easy to get lost once you start down the path discussing magic. There are a lot of off-road areas that can be explored, and some really fun terrain, but you'll only make things harder for yourself and everyone else if you insist on throwing out the map.Keep it simple. It doesn't matter how smart you or your conversant are, there's no reason to complicate the matter. If they're truly interested in taking things further, there will be other occasions to discuss it. If not, you're just boring them.
3. Don't Waste Time with Stereotypes or Pop Culture
Yes, we all get Harry Potter references, and some of us really relished the little nuances in those stories that resonated with what we know as practitioners, but spending precious time comparing and contrasting that world with ours is stupid and pointless. Focus on the actual rules of the game and not fantasy, however delightful it may be.I've been asked and assumed and teased more times than I can recall about flying a broomstick or hurling fireballs or saying "Abracadabra". I'm really quite over the whole thing. It's boring, adds nothing of value to the discussion, and derails any actual interest either of you might have in keeping the conversation going and satisfying genuine curiousity. Steer clear of the whole thing.
As you can see, the real art in these interactions is to keep the individual's interest, fire up their imagination, bring clarity to a little-discussed topic, and maintain that you are a balanced, intelligent, and unique person worth knowing. The more open you are about your practice to those who express interest, the more you will reflect a positive and honorable opinion of magic as a whole. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be genuine.
Images from:
parvanaphotography.deviantart.com/art/The-Trail-of-Red
"Niger Deus" Jerrid Scott on Flickr
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